Coping with Loss as We Age
As we get older, life often shifts in unexpected ways. Have you ever found yourself missing the friends or family who were once a daily part of your life? The reality is that the older we get, the more loved ones we may lose. By the time many of us retire, we might no longer have some of our best friends, neighbors, or even our spouse by our side. And, if we’re fortunate enough to have children, they may live far away, making regular visits difficult.
With so many kinds of losses—whether it's the death of a loved one, a divorce, physical distance, or even the loss of our own health or independence—how can we best cope and avoid the anxiety, sleeplessness, or depression that can threaten our well-being?
“The answer often lies in shifting our mindset from loss to gratitude, viewing setbacks as opportunities for growth,” says Rebecca Hilton, Vice President of Mission Integration at CHI Living Communities.“ Through the practice of gratitude, we can learn that each loss or challenge we face is an invitation to deepen our resilience and to cultivate a spirit of optimism.
"Being grateful also contributes to happiness," she adds. "Happiness is not a given—it's something we actively need to seek."
Hilton recommends focusing on moments of joy, reminding us that it’s often the little things that hold the most value: walking a familiar trail with your dog, smelling the lilacs in spring, sharing a long hug with a grandchild, watching a beautiful sunset, or reconnecting with an old friend over the phone or through social media.
To reinforce these moments, consider keeping a notebook to record them. Recalling fond memories can bring added joy. You might even make it a nightly habit to write down three moments of gratitude, such as:
- What made you smile today?
- What pleasant memory came to mind?
- Did a stranger surprise you with a kind act?
- Did you offer kindness to someone else that brought you joy?
“Aging certainly brings challenges, including the pain of losing those close to us," Hilton acknowledges. "Yet, if we honor their memory with a grateful heart, their loss may feel more bearable.” If you find yourself struggling with grief, it’s important to seek support. Make an appointment with your healthcare provider or clergy to discuss resources that can help.
If you’re finding yourself alone, or anticipate being so, consider exploring a senior living community. Here, you’ll be surrounded by people who share similar interests, enjoy a wide range of group activities, and benefit from many safety features. Contact us at CHI Living Communities for a free, no-obligation visit of the campus nearest you, and discover how community living can bring a sense of connection and peace to this season of life.